Speaking that Connects

Effective Communication: Connecting Beyond Words

speakingthatconnects — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:30:32 +0000

You’ve heard it said over and over again: It’s not what you say, but how you say it. Body language (voice, gestures, and eye contact) are essential to effective communication and presentations. Those who present with energy and enthusiasm often have a greater impact on their audience. Most important and powerful is the quality of eye contact, which facilitates a connection between the speaker and the audience. This applies to animals too.

In a recently published study from Current Biology, researchers found that dogs were more likely to follow a person’s gaze after being greeted with direct eye contact and a high-pitched voice than with no eye contact and a lower pitched voice. This supports previous findings from a July 2011 study in Learning & Behavior that found that dogs are more likely to beg food from someone who looks at them than from someone who does not.

Eye contact, voice, and gestures represent more than just a stylistic choice. They help gain and sustain the attention of your audience, and are not solely limited to human behavior. They are basic animal instincts that can be linked to multiple species. To learn more you can read USA Today’s coverage of the study or read the abstract on Current Biology’s website.

Eileen N. Sinett Communications

Take the Challenge – Become an Author!

speakingthatconnects — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 22:10:24 +0000

Taking a challenge made me an author! After 30 years as a communication consultant and public speaking coach, I am now available on Amazon and B&N! Here’s the story behind my success.

I was having coffee with a colleague, a peak performance coach who was working on his second book. When I said I was writing as well, he asked me when my first draft would be done. Since I had just begun, I had no idea. He urged me to set a date and I did, two months later.

Ed pulled out a check for $1000 from his wallet and said, “When clients default on their commitments, they have to pay me this amount. But since you’re a friend, you’ll just have to take me and my fiance to dinner at our favorite restaurant.”

I sighed the sigh of monetary relief and thought, “The most risk I’d be taking if I default would be $500.”

“Deal!” I said.

And as we were shaking hands, Ed added, ”And our favorite restaurant is in Paris.”

There was no way I was going to spring for their second honeymoon, especially when I was in need of a much deserved vacation myself. Needless to say, I made my deadline and published my book just one year later, (and now I’m planning my own trip abroad as my reward!)

Bottom line: Hold yourself accountable and your dreams have a chance to come true!

Eileen N. Sinett

The Science of Public Speaking

speakingthatconnects — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 16:47:04 +0000

One of my business’s taglines is “the art and science” of presentation excellence. Recently someone challenged the “science” aspect. Thinking “performance”, “stage presence”, “microphones”, “PowerPoint”, they felt speaking was more the “art.”

But speaking is a complex neuromuscular activity (I learned that in Speech 101 many years ago) . Our thoughts are transformed into energy that sets off a series of integrated systems involving the brain, lungs, larynx, tongue, lips, jaw, palate, etc. We tend to take all of this for granted.

Why don’t presenters easily stand still, use natural gestures and speak fully? Because they are nervous. And what is nervousness but an autonomic response to the unfamiliar resulting in palpitations, sweaty palms, dry mouth or shaking knees?

What about eye contact? The average person has no training in using their eyes to communicate in large group settings. Our eyes are “used” to working in one-to-one or small group situations. Eye muscles can be trained to target individuals in a group context (science) and then when paired with words, make a speaker more engaging and dynamic (art).

And think about this: if you hold your breath, you will be unable to speak more than a few constipated-sounding words. Breathing is essential to speaking. Inhalation and exhalation, (also known as inspiration and expiration), are a requirement for speech and voice. We breathe, (inspire) before we speak and hopefully, “inspire” others with our words and wisdom. Science leads; art follows – and we need both to be effective public speakers.

Thanks for listening,

Eileen www.speakingthatconnects.com

The Counterproductivity of Counting uh’s and um’s

speakingthatconnects — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 16:31:06 +0000

I recently attended a well-known public speaking organization, Toastmasters, to learn more about their structure and strategy in developing speakers. While I appreciated their focus on strong organization, the building of vocabulary and the pursuit of grammatical accuracy, I found the practice of counting ”um’s” rather counterproductive.

Here’s why:

Telling a speaker they have 7 um’s and 4 uh’s is like focusing on someone’s face and noticing freckles and blemishes without taking in the whole face and person. If you are going to count “fillers,” then why not count the “you know’s” and “like’s” as well? But more importantly, if you count hesitations, do you also count the number of times the speaker is fluent? What is the proportion of hesitations to smooth speech? Do the hesitations really stand out in a negative way, or are they noticed because the focus is to listen for them?

Analyzing empty vocalizations for a beginning speaker can exacerbate speech anxiety and even increase the number of hesitations going forward. I’ve worked with many individuals with public speaking anxiety and for some, focusing on small imperfections can be traumatic and have a long-lasting negative impact.

Furthermore, all uh’s and er’s are not the same! Where and when they occur is more critical than quantifying them and better indicators of whether these hesitations actually impact listener attention or speaker credibility.

Also important is why these hesitations occur. Some um’s may be indicative of vocabulary needs or word-finding difficulty, particularly if the speaker speaks English as a second language. Others may represent the speaker’s personality style or a neurophysiological difference, and some might occur unconsciously, from habit.

A professional speech coach employs strategies to strengthen and enhance fluency with an unwavering focus on building each individual’s presentation confidence. Eliminating empty vocalizations is important and necessary for media presentations and for professional speakers, but as a finishing touch. If hesitations are to be counted, I suggest doing so once a speaker has developed a certain level of public speaking comfort and confidence, not at the beginning of public speaking training. And, if this habit is signaled as a weakness, be sure to give the speaker direction and support to change this behavior.

Thanks for listening,

Eileen